I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When are your genitals available?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
