how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
