Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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