So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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