i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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