lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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