Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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