I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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