im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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