you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
