Ketchup is God's man juice
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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