I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
