He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
