i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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