Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
