a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
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so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
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We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.