he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.