So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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