The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think i got beer on your cat.
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