Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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