Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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