brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
