I'm really into asian looking animals
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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