Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
