So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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