google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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