I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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