I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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