Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
