i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You need a sexual gate keeper
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
