Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize