found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
