did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
