my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
