when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
