We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
