Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize