she was so not down for the gang bang
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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