shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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