I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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