Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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