How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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