If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
