if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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