Screwed.edu
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
