someone owes me an orgasm
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
third nipple confirmed
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
