I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
