i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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