Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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