There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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