are you still at the devil's house?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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