ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
