Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
