i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
