I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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