I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You smell like stripper and shame
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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