ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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