Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
