At least make sure they are 18
Why
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
