who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
