1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
