Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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