Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We're too hungover to prance.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize