Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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