and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
