Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize