Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
