I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
There r osticjed everywhere
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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