the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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