somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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