Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
