his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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